I love being a mama. My children make me laugh, cry, and sometimes want to scream. But I love them. And I love being their mom. But I have also realized that I feel differently about them. I didn’t think having a boy would feel that different from having a girl, but it does. I truly believe that God created us to desire the affections of the opposite gender. So when my little boy smiles that smile, coos his sweet nothings, and giggles at my every word, it makes me feel so special. It sort of feels as if I tote around a tiny boyfriend all day. I can do no wrong in his eyes. I am his beauty, and he adores everything about me.
Now before you go reading Oedipal nonsense into these words, let me say that I know all babies do these things, but it does feel different when they come from the opposite gender. Certainly I love Charlotte, but we already have that mother/daughter tension sometimes. I also know that my children cannot fulfill me – not in the deepest ways I desire to be fulfilled – but there is something unique about that mother/son bond. Come Halloween you may even find us in matching costumes a la Lucille and Buster at Motherboy.
Okay, hopefully our love never gets that creepy.
Britton, you have stolen this mama’s heart, and in exchange I promise to limit my desire to dress you up and parade you around to only your infant/toddler years. After that, I’ll just pick out your clothes.